half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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