We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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