Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
