why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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