I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
