why didn't you poke me back
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
