then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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