I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
two words: eviction party
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
