I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
