Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
