I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
