I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
