i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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