Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
