used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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