I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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