I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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