I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
