the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Found your dick twin last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
