Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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