yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
