she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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