whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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