Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
