I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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