Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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