I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
