afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
