3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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