So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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