At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
