By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
