I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize