She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
