So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
