i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
