I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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