My room smells like vodka and shame
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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