you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
