Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize