it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
