Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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