I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Randomize
