he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
