god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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