Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
