You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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