too bad you live with your parents still
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
