I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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