I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
