I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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