Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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