I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
