She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
