3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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