well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
