I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
